At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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