Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize