I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
