I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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