ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
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