oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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