There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Buhtt sex?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
