I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
