Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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