Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
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