Sry I called you an 8
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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