Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
