JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
