U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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