just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
