Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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