you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
