The maid of honor just puked.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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