She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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