woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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