You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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