Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
