I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
