Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
