I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
