okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
