Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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