SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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