Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
