Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
