I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
