i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
