put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize