And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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