i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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