I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize