I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
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She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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