what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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