What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
