i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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