butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wish you could order shots online.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
