I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Enjoy the penises
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
