what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
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He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
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My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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