There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
