Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
