I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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