Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
