i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
