...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Edward fifth and chaser hands
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
