There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize