we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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