This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
