oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
