so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The dick lei will go down in squad history
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
All the doctor said was why
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
