I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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