how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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