Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize