is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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