last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
