Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
